My Personal Experience
***Please note that although I love my son dearly and I thank the good Lord above that I have him. I just wished I would have done things differently, his birth changed my life forever. ***
I became a mother at the age of 15. I was beginning my freshman year of high school. I was a straight A student and had a bright future.
The future changed drastically because of poor judgment on my part. I decided to have sexual intercourse. I thought I was protected from conceiving a child. I was after all, on the pill. I knew how babies were made, and how to protect myself. I thought.
There is only one way that is 100% sure to not conceive a child. That is to not become sexually active.
No sex=No Baby
The reason I'm offering these pages is two fold. I hope by sharing my story that the young ladies and gentleman who visit here will see that teenage parenthood is not a wonderful way to begin your adult life. I also hope by sharing my story and providing informative links, that I may be able to prevent just one unwanted child from being conceived.
I had choices, just as you do.
I thought I loved this boy and in my childish heart I honestly did. I still do today, although he is no longer in my life. (He died when my son was 3 years old) I had been sexually active for over three years when I became pregnant one month after I turned 15. My family offered me money to have an abortion, but in my mind there was no way I was going to take a life I had created. I would like to state that I do not believe in abortion, but I do feel that it is the woman's right to do with her body as she chooses.
Because of my age and the time period I lived in I was not allowed to return to school. I was considered a bad influence to my fellow students. I lost my family's respect for me and their support. I suffered morning sickness, morning, noon, and night for 9 months. When my Son was born in the middle of a blizzard, I had still another choice to make. I could give him up for adoption or I could keep him. Me being the selfish person I was kept him.
I never returned to high school. I was too embarrassed to be a year behind all of my classmates. Instead of slaving over school books I was working in a meat packing plant by day and changing diapers and heating bottles by night.
Thankfully my son was a good baby, he slept all night, and he rarely fussed. But I wanted to go to the high school football games and couldn't, I wanted to go shopping with my friends (I wanted to have friends, but because of the baby they were not allowed to be around me, because I would be a bad influence) but couldn't, I wanted to buy myself nice clothes but couldn't. I wanted so many things but I had responsibilities for another human life now.
I had to think of my son first. Diapers, clothing, formula, and a roof over his head were my prime concerns. Have you ever spent a whole year of your life only going to work and home. No visitors, no escapes, nothing to add a little excitement in to your life.
And even with me working I still did not have enough money to support my son. Babies grow so very fast that first year, and the number of diapers they go through, which are very expensive, not to mention formula costs, medical expenses and other little things babies need.
That was at the age of sixteen, I lied about my age and went to work in a factory. Then another factory then another. They kept finding out my age and would fire me.
I found that I could no longer give my son the things he needed. Not the medical care, not the clothing, not the shelter, not the food. One of the hardest choices I ever made in my life was to place my son in my mother's custody and walk out of his life until I could care for him again.
Six months after I walked out of my son's life I found myself pregnant again. Sometimes we make mistakes more than once before we learn. My daughter was born in a strange city and state. I never knew her name. I never held her in my arms. I thought it best to give her up for adoption. After all if I couldn't care for my son, how was I going to care for a newborn.
Today my son is twenty six years old. He is the spitting image of his father. A wonderful young man, liked and respected by his friends and co-workers. I still have never seen my daughter. I wonder if she has had a good life. I wonder if she thinks of me as I do of her, or does she hate me for giving her away.
For over twenty years I had felt bad about myself because I could not be the mother my children deserved. They did not ask to be brought into this world. It was the only choice I ever made for them.
I had people tell me that I was a worthless human being because I allowed others to raise my children, and for a long time I allowed it to rip me apart. But I know now as I did then that because I loved my children, and was a good mother I gave them up so that they could have a better life.
Now for my plea to all young men and women. Please, please think of yourselves, your future, and possibly the child you may conceive before engaging in sexual intercourse. The minutes of ecstasy are not worth the lifetime of regrets. There is no going backwards in this life, only forward.