VISTAS: An awareness of a range of time, events, or subjects. A broad Mental View.
January 3


Well I managed 1.2 miles on the Bike tonight, that was a good thing or a sign that I'm getting into the routine of doing it. Anyhow I'm happy with that, but I do want to be up to five miles a day by the end of the month. Would be better if it was 10 but for now I'm going to say 5.

Things went well at work, anyhow I felt it was pretty productive for me, at least I didn't roam around with my hands in my pocket looking for something to do.


"Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is."
-Maxim Gorky-


In my thoughts a response
In my thoughts no answer
In my thoughts choices
In my thoughts love


Friday, a day that ends the work week, but yet begins the labor of survival in this world of silence, and isolation. Home is a minds prison of thought, a place to be in self imposed seclusion, for what reason I've yet to discover, is it my punishment for not being good enough to be?

on another note I began a new addition for the Vistas tonight, not yet certain as to where it will be located, and uncertain yet as to total content of each page, but it is started and when it is ready I am certain it will be either in the Variety or the Visions area of the Vistas, and hopefully will be an interesting addition to the site.


As Aunt Flo comes to visit once again, I ponder the thought of being a woman, a woman but yet in some ways not a woman at all, for it is as though I am unfulfilled, and maybe I don't know how to become complete.

I feel inside my heart it's important to share my love, but yet I find I have always limited where and to whom I have given my heart, and I wonder if I will ever give my heart completely and so trustingly as I had once upon a time.

The word in itself scares me, for with love comes pain, hurt and disappointment, but yet without it life is less than nothing, for a person should have a life shared with that one person who knows them better than anyone else, a person should be allowed to share their life with someone, not just anyone but the one that was made for them, their split apart.

Well this is my thought to ponder today.


When the snow falls upon the frozen land
we dream of beaches covered in crystal sand


I have a hope in me
one that the days of happiness shall return
hope that our love is strong enough to endure
to make it past this hurdle
for him to see that she will not make him happy
that I am his soul mate for ever
I have such a hope in me that this year we will overcome
and find the closeness we once shared.
I have a hope in me.


As the midnight hour tolls
a new day begins to form
one of hope and dreams

The crystal snows still fall upon the frozen ground
your image comes to mind
warming my spirit and giving me life

When my mind wanders
as it often does
It is filled with dreams of strong arms to hold
kisses as sweet as dew, and of you.

When my mind fills with these thoughts
as it often does
I wonder where you are
what your doing and how you are

When my mind wanders
as it often does
I think of tomorrow and what it holds in store
the promises of hope, and love

When my mind fills with these thoughts
as it often does
I wonder will the dreams come true
Will the passion and the rapture last all night long?

Soon our time shall come.


I love the early morning hours
When the house is in total silence
where there is nothing to distract me from my goals

I love the morning sun
As it pierces the blackness
bringing colors that were hidden forward

I look at the morning sky today, shades of red, lavenders grays...wondering what this day will bring forward. Mapping the course of my day in advance, deciding and choosing what I will do.

Making a mental list, goals to achieve before the new dawn comes. Each action I accomplish from my list will be a goal achieved, although the results may not be of my choosing.

One of my biggest failures in life has been not to follow through on things, not to organize and plan. This year I AM going to change that. In a way that is what this site will do for me. I am teaching myself control of myself. Exploring me as I am. and accepting me as me, not what others want me to be.

So now that I am ready, I shall go and conquer this day.

My Spelling really stinks, But will not use a spell check here, because it just isn't me


Do not speak of repulsive matters at the table.
- Amy Vanderbilt