VISTAS: An awareness of a range of time, events, or subjects. A broad Mental View.
March 10

received 2003

I heard you were feeling a little blue
So I'm sending a special note to you
We are sending loving prayers your way
Hoping they will help you today

Just think of the sunshine and pale blue sky
Perhaps a little calming music you could try
How about buying something new
A book, a dress, a cd to name a few

I know its hard when you're in pain
But truly, the sun will shine again
Know that we are thinking today of you
Loving prayers and hugs are sent too


"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."
- Beverly Sills -


If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who won't survive the week.


the day as it was.

again back in the store at 7:00 the day ending about 8:00 that evening. Chinese for supper and too many hours to think, to realize that I am truly alone in this world, the others mentioned calling home, they mentioned missing things at home, and I thought what do I have to miss that is there. It's funny the thing called missing, I found that it does not matter where I am or how far away I am I still search for the moon at night, and look up at the star and think of blues eyes looking at the same stars I am, looking at the same moon and wonder of it's affects on the one I truly believe I shall always love.


the darkness so black there are no stars. The night lasts all day long. the pain so intense, but yet no visible wounds. If will and the desire to be done with the life I have led would manifest into fulfillment then maybe somewhere in all of that I would finally be able to find peace, and yes maybe even joy once again.

No one can understand any one other individual, no one can feel the emotions that roll and turn inside the heart, the mind and the spirit of one's soul, and no one can realize how their actions affect another.

there is no one but only the one inside. I cried today for a long time and yet it did not cleanse the mind of thoughts that I wished would leave me be, thoughts of what is wrong with me.


another wasted day of nothingness, has come to pass, and I find myself thinking of the work to be done and the work that has been let go for too long now. I find myself in this world of quiet, which allows for so much reflective thought, It is strange when you have nothing to occupy your mind you turn it inward and see all the flaws in your own personality and in the world around you. You tell yourself to change things, but yet you lack the will power, or maybe it's just the will to do so. maybe it's the energy or maybe the change would be worse than the reality of the present.


sometimes it's okay to just drift


Floating on the winds of change
flying among the clouds
my vision blocked, the future uncertain

As the hawk searches for a perch
I as well, look a for home
where morning laughter,
evening recollections are the foundation

Circling in the sky, searching
for the things that sustain life
listening to the cry of the distance
reflections of the past.


I longed for his arms to hold me tight within his embrace, to gaze into eyes filled with wonder and love

I longed to feel that special feeling that only love know of

I longed to feel that special connection where thoughts could be understood and no words spoken

I longed to feel the satisfaction of knowing I was the one and he the only


Look into the eyes of the creature you have become find a mirror that shows your true reflection learn who you are before learning what you are trust your inner voice and allow it to guide your heart. learn from your mistakes and don't look back fear only yourself, and know how you can hurt others learn from the pain life has presented to you

Then take this knowledge and make tomorrow better


I was brought up to believe that how I saw myself was more important than how others saw me.
- Anwar el-Sadat -