VISTAS: An awareness of a range of time, events, or subjects. A broad Mental View.
April 6

When you get what you want as you struggle for self
and the world makes you a queen for a day.
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself,
and see what that woman has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or husband
who's judgment upon you must pass.
The person whose verdict counts most in your life
is the one staring back from the glass.

She's the person to please, never mind all the rest,
for she's with you clear up to the end.
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
if the woman in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of life,
and get pats on your back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
if you've cheated the woman in the glass.

- Author Unknown -

2006

Today is my birthday, and all I wanted for my birthday was a friend.

2005

Happy Birthday to me.

"Seek peace, and pursue it."
- Psalms 34:14 -

2004

things change
why can't I

2003

another birthday, and life seems to still be running in the same circles. I realize I need to make some changes but determining how to go about doing this seems almost a impossible task.

2002

Another birthday, #40 what a milestone it seems, I find myself happier and more content in my life than I have for such a long period of time, I find I am almost scared to write that, that by doing so I will somehow jinx myself, I pray that is not so.

2001

Thoughts so different than the year before. Friendships and budding love, I find hope in the future now and look forward to my next birthday.

2000

Birthdays, I hate them, but this one was representative of so many things, and maybe the final cleansing I needed, so many tears fell today. Disappointment, was so profound, I had hoped not to spend the day in total isolation. I depended on those I thought I could count on to not allow the depression to set in, of what this birthday meant to me, how it was the first day of a new year of my life, a year that will certainly be so different from so many past years.

But for some reason none of those who I asked to share in my day came through, they just didn't have the time to bother with me. No cards came with the mailman today. No phone calls came, and I was left so alone. I had no place to go. No one to share the day with, nothing. total and complete emptiness. So empty even dreams escaped me.

And then somewhere in the night a realization came to me

1999

Another has past
boy it seems to go so fast

I saw you came to visit,
near the midnight hour

I know your thoughts were with me
Even though we could not see

I saw within myself
something I did not realize

As the image from the crystal ball
did recede and fall

The choice is mine, which one will I follow?

1998

A lonely day,
no parties, or gifts
who cares

I did

another year gone
not much achieved
who cares

I do.

1997

My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there.
- Charles F. Kettering -