VISTAS: An awareness of a range of time, events, or subjects. A broad Mental View.
May 17

"The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them."
- Psalm 145:18 -

"Do not dare to live without some clear intention toward which your living shall be bent. Mean to be something with all your might."
- Phillips Brooks -

2006

"A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work."
- John Lubbock -

2005

"So listen to me, you men of understanding. Far be it from God to do evil, from the Almighty to do wrong. He repays a man for what he has done; he brings upon him what his conduct deserves. It is unthinkable that God would do wrong, that the Almighty would pervert justice"
- Job 34:10 -

2004

"For Christians, being attacked is one of the realities of life. The secular world, and The New York Times in particular, detest us because we stand for absolute truth. But our response to attacks like this is to overcome evil with good. For all of its faults, the Times now and then expresses grudging admiration for the human rights work evangelicals perform in the trenches. We need to strengthen our witness there and continue defending the truth. We also ought to keep a sense of humor when we are attacked like this."
- Chuck Colson -

2003

will force myself to leave the house today
will find something to do that doesn't require twos
will fly through this space of time in silence

2002

machine am I or not
mechanically in the movements
of time and distance
separation
separating
fading

2001

It seems as though I am so sad this morning. Here it is almost 1:30 in the morning and sleep is escaping me. It seems as if my mind is spinning with to many thoughts at one time. Thoughts of Love, Thoughts of work, Thoughts of the Past, Thoughts of things that need done, Thoughts of where the money goes and where it is to come from, and Thoughts of what is to come. Just to many to allow the mind to rest.

I question why the sadness, why has it closed in on me to where I feel as though I can not breathe, to where I don't want to breathe. Maybe it's all the stress as of late. Maybe it is the fatigue. Maybe it's because I didn't get to share a conversation with my sunshine last night. It is funny how when the light goes it seems to be blacker than black. But no matter the reason, I hate this state of mind I find my mind in at the moment. There is no justification in reality to have it plague me so.

It's nights like this I wished I had arms to hold me. A voice to reassure me. A presence beside me, just so I know I'm not totally and completely alone. I do feel so alone this morning, so isolated, away from all and on the outside looking in with a glass bubble keeping me out, I can look, I can feel, but I can not touch, I cannot have, it is as though I am teased with happiness, but it is not to be mine.

2000

A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for.
- Grace Murray Hopper -

1999

An eerie madness, prevails in the mind that does not sleep. Awakening the spirits that torture the soul. One voice or many? Is the echo more or less that reality presents?

1998

I look in the mirror but I don't see what they do.
I see a lost and frightened individual
scared of saying or doing the wrong thing
scared of cause another hurt or pain
scared of failing at the simplest of tasks
scared of not doing enough

At times I feel as though my mind is a prison
built of years of failures
of never being the perfect one they wanted me to be
of never being the saint they desired
of never being there when they needed
of never being able to be unselfish

I gaze into the mirror
I see the emptiness reflected in my eyes
the sacrifices I made in this life for them
the sacrifices I made to make me, me
the sacrifices of an education to survive
the sacrifices of happiness and joy to give it to them

I peer inside of me
searching for the hole and finding
nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing

Completely empty

1997

It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.
- Dr. Howard Murphy -