Bajeca's Vistas

slowly but surely the pages are coming along, at least I can say I'm better than half way on the verse vista, but of course I have the other nine to go once this one is complete. I did manage to add a couple of new content pages today, as well as a new picture in the vitals vista,so that was progress as well. I would really like to get the Verse Vista done this week, but not sure if I will make it or not, anyhow with the munchkins being here for most of the week, I guess we'll just have to see.

ten times today you walked my thoughts, why?

"Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them."
- Psalm 119:165 -

How did life become what it is?
Used and abandoned
But yet the love is still there
Every day thoughts, memories never fading
Rather lingering, holding on, staying buried
Truth and trust

I read on a sign today some good word for thought
a half truth is a whole lie.
think about it.

I can't erase him from my mind, I look at his picture sitting on my desk and I wonder if his thoughts ever wander my way. I wonder if he is okay. I think of our last conversation and recall myself saying that she could put an end to it if she wanted and he told me no she couldn't but yet I wonder if she has?

If I were to love you would you accept that as the gift it would be, for giving my heart is something I find so very hard to do, to learn trust, to put faith into something once again is maybe the hardest challenge I have ever faced.

the melody of the tune rang throughout the mind for hours after it's copulation of completion, leaving a lingering memory of things to come and things to pass

August 4, In retrospect

Sleep
I ran from the pain by a drug induced sleep that numbed me to where there was no pain. and I slept

Hidden somewhere deep inside of me is someone that I do not know, or have never acknowledged as being a real part of me. The walls that my mind has built around my soul has hidden that from even my view. The person that I am is a stranger to thy own self, I wonder whole the stranger that is me is. I love, I laugh and I cry. I hurt just like all the rest, but yet I'm not allowed to show that in any way except through a few words written on a page. I'd give my heart to anyone that would treasure it, for it is a valuable thing. I'd give my hands to help anyone that needed them. I'd give my mind to provide an answer that I know. Anything to give that is me. But yet I never give all of me for I do not know how. Many times I wonder and question what is wrong with me. But I have yet to find the answer.

Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.
- Thomas Fuller -