VISTAS: An awareness of a range of time, events, or subjects. A broad Mental View.
August 30

"It is necessary to try to surpass oneself always; this occupation ought to last as long as life."
- Queen Christina -

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."
- Anna Quindlen -


A discussion in the break room has me thinking tonight, the question was how does someone know they have found thier soul mate, or what is a soul mate anyhow? Do they really exist. I sat quietly listening to the discussion, for I know I have known mine, but yet the paths we walk are different, so thus it is never to be.


It's been so long since I have actually felt any emotions I wonder if I still have any, it's been so long since I have felt that I can no longer even fantasize about them in my dreams or in my day to day existence. I wonder what feelings feel like?


Does anyone understand how empty my heart is, how cold I feel, how tired I am of the emptiness and the longing. People tell me that somewhere out there, there is someone for me, the thing they don't understand there is no room for someone, the last I loved still fills all there is of me, and there is no longer any room for anyone else. Maybe if I would have heard good-bye then maybe the door would of opened to let him leave my heart. But I never did and I believe until I do, he will always be there blocking all others.


okay today is today

yesterday is gone, tomorrow is out of sight...think that is a song or something.. but is something I have to recall, something to remember.. must move forward and stop dreaming of things that will never ever be nor can they ever be as they were with the perfection that they once held.


how do I get the eyes to leave my mind alone? Why search inside my should when it is clear there is no longer a place for me in your world. Why come here and see how I feel when you never let me know your thoughts, why pry into my private space where I seek refuge and peace. Why do you not just say good-bye and be done with it.


A child's face shows the innocence I wished I could find once again, the carefree nature of not being responsible or forethought of the consequences of ones actions


who will hold me when I get weak?


In the morning mists
stars fade from our sight
replaced by the softness, of the suns kiss
stored away till the returning night


When the blackness becomes so absolute you can see nothing, but only your thoughts, that are locked inside your mind, is when you face the truth about who and what you are.

When the blackness surrounds your world and you believe to never see the light is when you realize all the blessings that have been disregarded and thought to have had little importance, until that moment of blackness recalls it to your mind.

When the blackness suffocates and chokes your being is when you find your true self and flee for the light.


Goals are dreams with deadlines.
- Diana Scharf Hunt -