VISTAS: An awareness of a range of time, events, or subjects. A broad Mental View.
December 8

Let us so live that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry.
- Mark Twain -


It’s flipping freezing tonight. It’s been snowing for the past 3 hours and we now have about 3 inches on the ground and it doesn’t seem to be letting up any either. Hopefully it will stop soon, I’m really dreading my drive to work in the morning. The temp says it is 19 degrees out with a wind chill of 4 degrees but for some reason it seems a lot colder tonight than it has the past few nights.

I think I’ll be going to be early tonight just to get warm. I know I sure don’t want to go back outside to smoke, but I’m really wanting a smokes so I know me I will wrap up in the blankies and the hats and the coats and go out there shaking and shivering just to get that bit of nicotine. Gads addictions are horrid.


"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
- Eleanor Roosevelt -


a lingering memory haunts my mind these days, eyes of blue and a spirit so true, I wished I didn't think of then, I wished I didn't think of you, but ah I always do.


feeling kind of blah today, think maybe this will be a sad month for me, all I want to do is cry, I want to crawl into the darkness and hide from all that my heart feels.


Sometimes I wonder if we think to much, to often and without a knowledge of what we think. I wonder if our mind talks to our inner being in circles as a way or form of inner confusion to keep us thinking, even when we know the answer. Or why even in knowing the answer we still refuse to accept it.


where was I? where am I now?


I dread the moment he walks in the door, I know that within seconds I will feel less than I am. I cringe at the first words, tears fill my eyes. In but a moment I am reduced to the worthless thing I have become.


Fear is our only limitation
it binds and confines
holding us from finding a happiness deserved

Fear prevents us from feeling
of giving or caring
tying us to endless doubt

Fear our way of self destruction?
or is it self preservation?


Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life itself.
- John Harold -