VISTAS: An awareness of a range of time, events, or subjects. A broad Mental View.
April 18

"Let not the sun go down upon your wrath."
- Ephesians 4:26 -

"We probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do."
- Olin Miller -


"In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee."
- Isaiah 54:14 -


"Why should I deem myself to be a chisel when I could be the artist?"
- Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller -


I'm a cruel person
I'm manipulative
I'm less than everyone else
I'm the one never good enough
I'm the one forever outside
I'm the one who feels the rejection
I'm the one who cries myself to sleep
I'm the one who prays for death to knock on my door
I'm the one who has some unknown sin to pay for before that knock comes
I'm the one who is me


wondering if he knows that although I try I cannot help but think of him, yearn for his friendship, I miss that so much, the ability to talk about anything, and knowing that he would know what I meant, or how I felt, or how I believed or how I trusted, or how I hurt. I don't know where things got turned around or why he turned away, something in my character I believe doesn't have a place for true friendships, that last through everything.


I'm so tired today, feel as though I am numb but yet the throbbing in my legs tells me otherwise. I feel as though I have taken a powerful drug and my mind is in a haze, but yet I know that I have not and that I am here, somewhere in my dreams.


Have you ever noticed the energy of children? Why can we not bottle it and save our youthful enthusiasm for life for the age when we need it most. I wonder if we expend so much of it in youth that we fail to have any left when we are older. It seems as though the past two weeks have been so tiring, and for no reason, I have slept and done my normal routine but yet I am so tired, and all the time. I awake in the morning wanting to go back to sleep and to just stay in that bed forever.

It seems as though time passes so quickly anymore, I wonder if it does for the children as well. I recall when I was young it seemed like forever before the next birthday or Christmas would come, but now it is like only yesterday it was Christmas, and my birthday and soon it will be again. Why does time speed by without giving us a moment to relax, collect our thoughts and enjoy life as we know it?

Has the days gotten faster or has a minute been shortened or maybe the second is just faster than it used to be. I wonder if time will ever slow again.


The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
- Joe Ancis -


the kittens are beginning to go every where, playing and climbing. It will soon be time for them to leave, to go to new homes. a new life cycle begins, I wished I could begin a new, wipe the memories from my mind, forget the pain and the hurt from the past, learn to trust again, to feel again, to be me again. I often wonder if I'm asking to much for this life. I see so many laughing, having fun, but yet I don't I don't know why and I think that is my biggest torment. What is wrong with me that I don't have those feelings, why do I feel surrounded by darkness. a cold chill sweeps me to the core. Am I different from anyone else, I look like others. No there is something deep inside of me I can't find, and it tears my world apart.



sweet caresses
touch thine ear


Secrets in silence
seal thy lips


Be watchful of thy words


When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary.
- William Wrigley Jr.-