VISTAS: An awareness of a range of time, events, or subjects. A broad Mental View.
August 6

If the load becomes so heavy
that you feel the need to quit,
just let your mind go empty,
sit down and rest a bit.
Then think of something pleasant
and close your eyes and dream;
let cares and woes all vanish,
embrace a bright sunbeam.

Go strolling in the meadow
and pick a wild bouquet;
indulge yourself to linger,
relax and spend the day.

Don’t think about the burdens
that you have left behind,
just let the gentle breezes
refresh your weary mind.

You’ll find when you have rested
much lighter is your load,
and the path that you’ve been traveling
isn’t such a rocky road. -© 1999 Ruth Gillis -


Slept til 3, wow did I blow the day, Steve mowed the yard, Mat moved his stuff back home, Nelson and I went to the deli got gas and chicken, I washed the dishes and am doing laundry now. but other than that the day was pretty wasted.


"I believe with all my heart that civilization has produced nothing finer than a man or woman who thinks and practices true tolerance."
- Frank Knox -


looking for the man on the moon
and the one who hung it too
where oh where is he?


I thought of the Sunshine today, wondered where it went and how it is doing, and how life has changed since it has left my life. I wonder if the sunshine knows how much I love it and how much I always will


He didn't want me to treat him as special but yet he was/is. If only he would give me a chance to show him, to teach him that he is so much more than any other. If only I could look into those eyes of blue and see the soul within once again. If only my heart could be heard, and if only I could breathe in his scent, hear his voice, feel his hand in mine. I don't know why he has gone, I don't know if he will ever be back, I don't know so many things, but I do know that my life was blessed by the time he gave me, and that it seemed so complete when he came to see me, and was here.

Even without knowing, I know that as of yet I can not go forward, I will sit and wait, and maybe wait forever, for I have no desires to take a chance of never finding what I once held dear, a friendship, a soul connection, someone who could understand me for me being me. So once again before I go to sleep I will wipe my tears and pray that God will give me the strength and a sign of what to do, I believe if God didn't want me to love him he would take him from my heart, he did that for me with Jess but not with my Sunshine, and I have to ask why?

Does anyone know?

coincidence-or a sign re-reading my thoughts for this day, I find my entry for 1998 to be what and why I love him the way I do, for no other has ever answered that prayer for me...


Sometimes I pray, for a miracle, a miracle that there is someone out there in this world that can understand me for being me, and accept me for that as well


The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton -


Upon my knees
a look of silent plea


Share with me your thoughts
Thoughts of life and thoughts of death
give me a part you have given no other
share with me what is hidden inside
let me see your fears
and your hidden enemies
give to me your heart,
I shall cherish it with all my being
trust me to love you in no other way
but with all of me
as though it were all of you
Share with me the joys of life
and the pain of loss
give to me as you have no other
and I shall give to you the same


Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
- Victor Borge -